I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
