oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
