I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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