5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize