16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
