So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
