So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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