everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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