I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
