you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
