you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
