I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
