I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
