come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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