He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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