3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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