pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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