I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
