The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
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