plz talk dirty to me
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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