Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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