I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
