This is not my ceiling
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
