if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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