I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
