Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
