last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
