I cockslap morals
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
