I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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