This girl is more easily done than said...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
