my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
