i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I could have mohawked her pubes.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
