I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
