So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
All the doctor said was why
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
