It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
