Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
