My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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