I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
