May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
