butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
