Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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