I want to walk on stilts...naked
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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