i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
