College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
