I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
