Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
