worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
