I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
