question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My life is pants optional.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
