But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I want a musical about memes.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize