I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
